Surrender All

Yesterday, Poppy went into surgery to have her vp shunt revised. In trying to keep Poppy’s hydrocephalus controlled with just 1 shunt, the thought was that perhaps the current placement of her shunt was to blame for the ventricle that wasn’t draining. So in surgery today, they took out her original vp shunt, and placed one just like it on the left side, in hopes that this new position would drain all the ventricles appropriately.

We spoke with Dr. Browd right after surgery, and he said things were pretty straight forward-he was overall so far pleased. During the procedure, he had injected some dye in order to get an idea if the new placement had done the job of allowing all ventricles to drain. He said the post op CT would show where the dye was able to go, and would give them an idea of what would be the next move.

I got up to Poppy’s room to find her still intubated 😦 Apparently in the OR they had tried to extubate her (take her off the ventilator she was only on because of surgery), and probably because of her rhino virus (cold) she needed to be reintubated. I also learned pretty quickly, that the post op CT scan showed that no dye was able to get into the problem ventricle, meaning the position of the shunt was not the reason after all for all of this.

Ugh…I just wanted to throw up…I’m finding it hard to catch my breath…we were both so utterly disappointed..so she’s sick, immunosuppressed, off her blood thinner (lovenox) in order to do all of this without the concern of bleeding, intubated, and chances are, she will need to go in a 3rd time to get an additional shunt to specifically drain the problem ventricle. The feeling of defeat was overwhelming, even though she has been in waaaayyy worse situations than all of this. It was definitely a challenging afternoon for both of us. A couple of our favorite nurses were so encouraging-their words were just what we needed to hear. Reminding us that it’s ok to be disappointed, she’s been through so much… but to pray-and they are right on. Trying every second to just give it over-He knows what He’s doing ALL of the time.

Later in the evening, they were able to take the breathing tube out and put her on nasal cannula. Praise God!!! Brad stayed with her last night because I missed Crosby and really needed a break. I need a break to just try and digest all of this, and surrender all to God…the whole thing…

I arrive this morning to find my girl still not herself. Irritable and seemingly sedated at the same time-only she’s not on any extra sedation-her eyes still not conjugate (together). Neuro says her CT today looks good so far and really can’t explain why she’s not herself-that it will just take time and watching for the next few days to see what the next move will be.

It is so hard to see my baby like this- we were just getting to know her…but this is her today, and we can still get to know her like she is today- because she’s our precious girl and we love her so much..really, what kid is the same every day- they are always growing and changing…

We find rest in knowing and believing with our entire being, that she is in the Lord’s arms and we are by her side loving her through it. We are surrendered…we are on our knees asking God to heal our girl and to carry our family through this as He always has. Please pray for God’s peace to surround us and for God’s healing hand to touch our girl.

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24 thoughts on “Surrender All

  1. Praying that all of you feel the peace and healing presence of God. Let Him continue to carry you, leaving only one set of footprints.

  2. Christi my heart goes out to all of you. I am seeking His face for you, seeking His healing, His comfort and peace upon you all. Father as You hold baby Poppy in Your arms of rest and healing, we are trusting in You Lord to restore her. We praise You Father for Your mercies endure forever. We give You all the Glory Lord and Honor. Bless Brad, Christi, Crosby and Poppy, Keep them in Your arms of love Lord. AMEN

  3. Bless you-my heart hurts for all Poppy and your family have been through but all I can do is lift you up in prayer. God bless you all.

  4. Dear Heavenly Father, We pray for our granddaughter that you would bring healing to her body and that you would allow her bodily functions to work as they should. May she respond to the treatment that she is receiving from the doctors and nurses.
    Protect her from all harm we pray in Jesus name. Amen

  5. Tears being shed for Poppy and her family as I know you have been through so so much!! Prayers for Our Lord to continue keeping all of you wrapped tightly in his arms where you are always safe. Thank You for the continued updates for all of us all over the United States praying for you!!
    Denese Moritz Calahan

  6. Praying for you all in this difficult time. May god continue to hold you in His arms and may you rest in His peace knowing he is in control. May Poppy gain health and strength. Praying this trial will soon be over and you can enjoy life as a family should.
    Remember God is in Control……He will never let his Children go

  7. I’m so sorry that you have to endure more worries about your sweet little Poppy! You have my thoughts and prayers as you weather yet another storm. God bless you all and give you peace and strength to see Poppy through this. Praying for a quick resolution to the problem with the ventricle/shunt and for complete recovery and healing for Poppy! Warm hugs from Montana!

  8. I have never met you and Brad formally, but I have watched your sweet Crosby in the church nursery. I cannot tell you how much Poppy’s story has touched me deep down in my heart! I am praying for your family so much and love it when you post an update to the blog! You are the bravest Mom I have ever met. I am a mother of two (ages 4 and 1) and am in amazement at your strength! Poppy has touched so many lives (more than you may ever know)!! Your continual reliance on God and his perfect will gives me so much strength in my own life each and every day! God promises that he won’t give us more than we can bear and I pray that your burdens will be lifted by Him! Stay strong – Poppy is having so much impact to many, many lives!

  9. She’s beautiful! she’s strong I can see it, tough day…. You are with a great team of doc’s out there & your devotion and prayer: your family and hometown support is overwhelming. Proud of you and we’ve never met! So excited for her to get better and for you to be on to better days ahead!

  10. While I do not know any of you personally, I have been following Poppys story. I am praying for God to keep surrounding your family in the love and support that can only come from Him. You are such a beautiful example of trusting the Lord in all you do….Thank you for sharing so much of yourselves and your sweet little Poppy.

  11. Your story broke my heart. I will be praying for baby Poppy and your family. She is adorable and knowing God is in control and loves her so much more than we can imagine. You are loved ❤

  12. Tammy I am so sorry this poor child has to go through such horrific things. I am praying and may god give her the life she so deserves. Make her well Lord. Love you Tammy Uncle Mike

  13. Dearest Heavenly Father please continue to guide the doctors and nurses with you caring hands. May your will be worked through them. Show Poppy and her family your continued healing touch. I also pray for rest for Brad, Christy, and Crosby. In Jesus name. AMEN.

  14. Oh sweet little baby… she is so precious. I just can’t even begin to imagine what you & your family are feeling & really going through Christi. I honor you so very much for your undying devotion to God… even in the face of this trial that I’m certain, at times, must make you question where He is. My heart is just breaking for you & I’m praying for all of you that will somehow miraculously see & feel His presence in spite of it all. With love, Kelley

  15. Kristo. You and the entire family are in my prayers. Especially little Poppy. God bless all of you. Never give up.

  16. I am so sorry guys that you have to go through this. My heart is just breaking and cracking for you guys Heavenly father please help poppy through this so she can come back to Bozeman.

  17. I can completely understand the disappointment, not because she hasn’t been through worse, but because of the timing, I imagine after getting some relief and starting to feel like things were getting a little normal for your family, I’m sure this is extremely difficult! I’m so sorry. :(. I have been following your story and praying for you, I always look for updates, and I was sad to see things have gotten more difficult! I will continue to pray for your family!
    God bless!

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