This morning around 8:00am, Brad and I will check in to UW Labor and Delivery, and I will begin to be prepped for surgery. We are told the c-section will begin at 10:00am and we should meet Poppy within just a few minutes. It is so hard to believe the day will finally be here when we get to meet our precious Poppy. It has seemed so far off for so long-the reality of actually meeting her today is surprisingly hard to imagine.
We’ve been told in great detail about what we can expect, but still somehow I’m filled with anxiety, helplessness, excitement, joy and heartache all at the same time. I am so excited to finally meet our sweet girl and so anxious and scared about what lies ahead. I know the Lord has ALL of this in His hands, and I know His will will be done, and as I’ve said before, there is great comfort in that. However, I’m still human and the feelings of helplessness, anxiety, and heartache still enter in. What should be a time of endless joy and excitement are tainted with the possibility of worst case scenarios.
Yesterday was a challenge indeed, just the reality that our life begins a new chapter tomorrow, and knowing that Poppy will be no longer ‘safe’ as she was in my womb has had me an absolute mess all day. It is through constant prayer that I am asking the Lord to help me find peace and rest in Him alone, and to not be afraid because He is in control. We are talking every minute-this is my prayer….because it has to be. Only God can guide us through life- good/bad, happy/sad. Thank you all for your prayers and loving words. They mean more than we could ever express. Please continue to pray as we are just beginning this journey in a matter of hours….